Author is not an alien

Author is not an alien
I write because we had deleted enough

Thursday, December 22, 2011

IF ONLY................

Have you ever met a person who admits to nursing regrets ?these regrets can be many-not making a proper career choices,not having given enough time to family,the most common being not expressing your emotions to a person whom you once loved the most ,!Being beset with doubts about yourself &the life you have chosen is well recognized symptoms of MID LIFE CRISIS

Actually lets be honest,we all once in life think that life would have been different if we made some different choices .aptly termed as turning point decisions!  The difference being how do we react to these thoughts,some of us dismiss it in the name of destiny while the other group believes that its we n only we who determine our paths

Mid life crisis is a period of dramatic self doubt that that is felt by some individuals as a result of sensing the passing of youth n entry of old age people start reassessing their achievements in terms of their dreams which results in significant"out of turn"decisions related to work,marriage.relationships &even physical appearance 

If we all could accept the life that is meant for us.it would lead to greater satisfaction.the anger over "second best"never allows you to enjoy life to its fullest whats the use of crying over"ifs" &"wish i hadn't",the reality is circumstances were NOT different,time never goes in reverse mode&even after you deeply regret ,nothing's gonna change 

One of the best novels about midlife crisis "BACK WHEN WE WERE GROWNUPS" BY ANNE TYLAR is about a woman Rebecca ,53,who has a so called successful life with kids n buisness suddenly realizes"that she had turned into a wrong person".She wonders what a lovely life she would have if she had not dumped her sweetheart to marry a man older than her .She takes up a long journey to find her"Long Lost life"but ultimately realizes that "THERE IS NO TRUE LIFE ,YOUR LIFE IS THE ONE YOU END UP WITH WHATEVER IT MAY BE.YOU JUST DO THE BEST YOU CAN WITH WHAT YOU HAVE GOT"

Follow your passion,make sure you have time for your loved ones &take responsibility of your decisions &their results because"YOU CANNOT CONNECT THE DOTS LOOKING FORWARD ,YOU CAN ONLY CONNECT THEM BACKWARD,YOU HAVE TO TRUST THAT THESE DOTS WILL SOMEHOW CONNECT  IN  YOUR FUTURE:STEVE JOBS"

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

YEH DILLI HAI MERE YAAR


Its Delhi's 100th birthday,celebrating 100 years of this magnificent city where ancient &modernity have entered into a wedlock.On 12 dec 1911 was held"Dilli Durbaar" &as India awoke to freedom &life at the stroke of midnight hour city of Delhi underwent several dramatic changes in topography,typology ,demographics&culture. If you visit any state of India you would be welcomed by a distinct aura of ethnicity surrounding it that is distinct to that place,but when it comes to Delhi,its a perfect example of multiculturalism blended into a lovely cohesion where"Delhites"limits itself to the cool guys n gals .Delhi actually belongs to everyone ,its ethnicity is Indian &is completely"Desi"by heart .You are left amazed of the infrastructure that goes taller day by day&the Delhi girls who never cease to be prettier.Ask someone for directions &you would get a bonus of information on whats the coolest eating joint nearby!believe me Delhi is a crazy foodie by heart,it proudly boasts itself of the best restaurants with international cuisines as well as the most amazing street food &that explains that noone complains of crowd n traffic jam when "Praratha wali gali"is nearby .So take a break from FDI disaster.Sibal being a net nanny&rehearsal for the upcoming "Mai Bhi Ana"movement &celebrate 100 years of a city that celebrates&reinvents itself daily .A saga of Power,conquests n revolts ,a city that has seen its transition from the mighty Indraprastha of pandavas,shahjanabad &dilli of mughals to Lutyens 'New Delhi-its a city of Power,Politics,Food,Fashion along with a dark underbelly:HAPPY 100TH BIRTHDAY DILLI/DELHI                                  



Friday, December 9, 2011

The new rule book of chivalry



Welcome to the new age urban India couples where


 complexities have started to creep in .Women who in the past


 enjoyed their newly found financial independence ,some of 


them have out passed their partners in terms of paycheck 


badly disturbing the personal equations in the domestic 


economy &they are better off known as "Lets share it 


half" couples 


Once upon a time ,the rule book of 


chivalry had its predefined conventions where the guy used to


 pay the bills on the date ,he used to be the sole responsibility 


bearer &paycheck was never an issue in the day to day 


differences .But that's a pass now,these 


young,ambitious,upwardly mobile couples with their 


big fat salary are sharing equally everything from electricity 


bills ,home rent to of course the expenses on "dinner date"! Its 


their practical solution to avoid arguments &inferiority 


complexes that can take a toll on their sex life too


This new perspective is actually about how gender roles are 


perceived in a society ,both through a woman's &a man's eye .


When a woman thinks that she doesn't believe in stereotypical 


gender roles &man on what should be the power &equation 


issues &differences see a "Most Welcome"sign


Make your own rules,break the same 


when you feel they are an obstacle in 


your relationship,keep the spark alive 


&don't change the"And they lived 


happily ever after..............." to "And 


they lived happily ever after till hers 


salary got a hike"..........sehar



Sunday, December 4, 2011

ALEPH.........'coz Life is the train not the station

If you have opened this post in hope of reading a book review of 

Paulo Coelho's latest novel"Aleph" ,sorry to disappoint you ,its 

an attempt to rewrite a personal experience .My encounter 

with literature when my date with comics ended up started with 

"Dr Harivansha Rai Bachhan's :Kya Bhoolo Kya Yaad 

Karu"&from that age i have a penchant for reading 

autobiographies or personal experiences as has been very 

rightly quoted "The act of writing with serious intent 

involves enormous personal risks"

The great writings are those that are written with all 

honesty &to put it more flatly with all the guts &no 

doubt "Aleph" stands tall in that .A tale about love 

without the boundaries of time&space,a tale about 

believing in yourself,a tale about forgiveness &above all 

a tale that above moral policing takes you above fair -

unfair to strengthen the bond of marriage

We all have an aleph moment but somehow we fail to 

realize it in the race from past to present to future but 

always remember :Each new experience of love has 

nothing to do with past 

experiences,its always new 

It takes you to a new journey of 

spiritual search where acts of 

compassion & 

selflessness,forgiveness n inner 

peace are its characteristics .

Writing is spiritual for me ,

,dancing connects me to the god

Read &experience aleph ,encounter your fears 

&shortcomings not only because "Each end gives us an 

opputunity for rebirth"but also to always keep in heart 

that "Life is one long training session,in preparation for 

what will come.Life &death lose their meaning,there are 

challenges to be met with joy &overcome with 

tranquility"

Wishing you your moment of aleph :

"Eternal fires light moonless nights

while love flickers in the shadows

embraced by guarded secrecy

from ashes of surrender".........sehar




Wednesday, November 30, 2011

LOVE MYTHS

Love-a word that carries an aura of mystery around it ,blame it on the romantic novels or the movies ,we always dream of a fairy tale story of ours This search for perfection never ends &sooner or later we realize the whole mystery is a myth


1)LOVE KNOWS NO BOUNDARIES: We read some stories in which the prince charming falls for a poor girl,the princess goes with the thief,watch a movie in which a superstar"pretty woman" confesses her love for a common guy-these magical stories make you go gaga but helloz....... this things happen only in John Hughes movies or mills &boons novels .Relationship is all about finding a more compatible partner often on an unconscious basis


2)LOVE HAPPENS ONCE IN A LIFETIME:We have grown up believing that life is all about finding one soul mate & the famous holy line"and they lived happily ever after" &for all my buddies who have grown up in"Dil to pagal hai"breed of romance its about honestly believing that we are created in pairs &when the perfect time comes ,we meet them n flowers bloom n music plays.........give yourself a break this is a sheer nonsense Psychology only proves that our expectations from the same partner changes with time


3)LOVE DEPENDS ON MEETING OF MINDS:You will never see things through your partner eyes because you are two genetically different people .you are genetically,psychologically &historically different .Relationship is all about being with a person who enriches you &not reflects you .Men &women are wired differently so respect your differences


4)LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT:Its very common to be absolutely smitten by someone in first meeting but this is just a major crush or looks based attraction ,chances of turning into a serious relationship are possible only in Shakespeare's works we all nurse the dream of finding a partner how much we claim 
that we are happy single ,our subconscious makes us believe that this attraction is love


5)THERE IS A RIGHT WAY &A WRONG WAY TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP GREAT:Nothing could be far from truth.There is no right way to be a good spouse,good partner or to handle a relationship challenge .Remember not to be rigid about the way in which you accept your partner's expressions of love .The fact that your partner has a different way of expressing feelings doesn't make it less genuine


"Love has nothing to with the five senses &six directions............RUMI"

Friday, November 11, 2011

for "DADDY'S GIRLS"..........

This post came out of a research journal in Science Daily"women who enjoy good childhood relationships with their fathers are more likely to select partners like their dads"
So do we need a science daily to prove this?Absolutely not .........Throw a question to any girl barring age ,marital status "The man you love the most?".....&would come an instant reply from a daddy's girl "MY DAD" 
Girls having a caring dad who has always pampered her has a direct impact on who she finds attractive ,conforms Dr Lynda "We can now say that daughters who have a very positive childhood relationships with their fathers choose men with similar facial characteristics"


"Similar facial characteristics" is a bit too far but with due respect to Sigmond Freud its more on the level of making dads an iconic character in our lives .Every daughter wants a man who will protect them with care like their dads ,not because she needs it but only because he loves her 


Lets face the truth its very difficult to find a person who closely resembles your"real life hero",at the end of the day every person has their own place ,their own admirable qualities &also habits which can irritate you to the core :cherish it ,value it &love it you would surely give a second thought before answering "THE MAN YOU LOVE THE MOST"
Ending this note for all the daddy's girls &their wonderful dads


"A little girl needs her daddy


To love her with manly charm,

To soothe her when she's hurt,


And keep her safe from harm.

A girl needs her dad


To show her a man who's good

,
To help her make right choices,


As only a father could.

A woman needs her father


Just to be aware,


He'll always be there for her


To sustain her and to care.

You've been all these things, Dad

.
I hope that you can see


How much I treasure you

;

You mean everything to me."


LOVE YOU DAD.......................Sehar



Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Are you On Facebook????????

So i am back with a short story:
DISCLAIMER-this is not a work of fiction &bears some striking resemblances to some persons very much living on this planet&if it offends someone ,i ask for a sincere apology
"I was traveling to my home town in a train with a resolution that i am not gonna  talk to anyone this time as is a habit of me to land into conversation with every single person around(some"bad" experiences behind it)everything was going fine & as a sincere study bug i had carried some study material along with me (*god save me from the torture as soon as possible ,instead of "mills &boons" i was reading microeconomics)

Suddenly i noticed  a guy peeping into my book as if he has authored the same ,when i looked up he said"are you preparing for some exam" ???
ME-yes
He-which one?
ME-civil services
He-wow.....thats cool(*i wish i could also have said a wow&cool)


Then he started extracting from me every detail about the exam ,system ,corruption ,polity n we had a long conversation
n next time if you find his name among the toppers n he says hez thankful to parents,god &teachers,please include "the girl in train";-)


Then there were all the people around who participated in conversation which got heated up as every single person wanted to show that he is no less"socially &politically enlightened" citizen than the other  &the one in disadvantage was this poor guy who had painstakingly started this conversation &now was the least heard voice


The caterers served diner &gradually the environment which just a minutes before presented  a discussion point of another"Jasmine  revolution"shifted gears on whether they should include "gulab jamun" on deserta instead of vanilla ice cream .....So everybody retired to sleep &then the "guy" took a front seat and contd.....


He-So what did you do for graduation?
Me-I am a doctor
He-wow..thats cool(my thoughts:same as above),so it seems you are a writer?
Me-a little bit of writing i do (plzzz ,do i look like a fool?i know you have overheard me talking on  phone about me being a writer*)

A little bit of  talking continued about delhi,my home state,family till i interrupted that i needed to sleep.There was en exchange of goodnights
i woke up amid tea &the same "revolutionaries" discussing  a civil rights movement of India .There came my station n i picked up my bag to get down ,bid goodbye to everyone including that guy and then.........


He-it was nice meeting you ,Dr.....hmm
Me-same here ok then goodbye
He-ARE YOU ON FACEBOOK???????
Me-amm........No
He-Twitter?
Me- No


He gave me such a disappointing look as if he just came to know that his blind date is a gay


He-okk doctor all the best for your exams
Me-thanks a lot


i walked down the platform with a smile thinking that hope he does not google my name to find out a freaking facebook fan & a twitterati in totalitarian
.remembered the movie"The Social Network" n was wondering if the movie was true ,then how "uncool"Mark Zuckerburg was .i don't think he had even started a conversation with a girl on train(come on he was not interested in the girls who were his fans)...so take a bow Mark -you not only made yourself a youngest millionaire but gave a new "hip &happening" passaway line to this new generation cheers to you &facebook


meeting my family i suddenly realized i forgot to buy some chocolates for the two kids at home ,i turned back ,rushed to nearest tea stall to get hold of some candies &there was this guy with his back facing me smoking a cigarette with his friend ...so here goes the last conversation


Friend-So whats up?kuch baat bani"(did something crop up)
He- a complete waste of time yaar,of one whole train journey ............can you believe "SHE IS NOT EVEN ON FACEBOOK!!!!!!!!!!!"












 

Friday, August 5, 2011

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

DREAMS,DESIRES,DEPRESSION,DISTRESS,DRUGS and.............DEATH

"YOU ARE OUR ANGEL!SLEEP TIGHT!MOM DAD WOULD ALWAYS LOVE YOU .........RIP AMY"

 This was the message from a father who lost his daughter at 27 &the media the world over 
 showing us the news &reminding of"club 27"celebs &this post came up because i had a long thought that why these celebrities who achieve so much at a young age ,surrender to drugs &alcohol...why another club 27 celeb?why amy winehouse?

Last year i started learning kathak ,my long cherished dream ,when i met"guruji",he asked me why kathak,i said"i love dancing n it gives me inner happiness".He said"you know what art is all about?its all about discipline,discipline not in practice but in Life,worship your art ,live your art ,do not dance for name,fame &money,dance for your soul"

Winehouse's issues with drugs and alcohol have been well documented. There's nothing the tabloid media likes to do more than build a celebrity up and then knock them down, documenting the filth and the gory details with voyeuristic glee. Youtube, too, is full of clips showing Winehouse stumbling across the stage during a show. Sadly, she never received the help that she so badly needed. Anybody that has ever known an addict, be it drugs, alcohol, gambling or anything else, knows that the only person that can really help an addict is the addict. You can't tell an alcoholic to stop drinking. They have to be ready

However, when a person is in the public eye like Winehouse was . There would be people surrounding you who would make you a proud person &they will be the first one to push you back If that sounds pathetic, it is.
there would be many who would say "I don't feel sorry for Amy Winehouse. She did it to herself".  Only Amy Winehouse could have helped Amy Winehouse, but she didn't ask to be an addict. Most of us are blessed with a mind that knows when to stop. We can have two beers, three maybe, and then happily go home. The mind of an alcoholic isn't built like that. There's only alcohol &no to drinking. There's no in-between. If that doesn't make sense to you, that's because you are not an addict and you, and I, should feel very grateful about that. 


Tragically, Winehouse never got on top of her disease. It controlled her for the majority of her short life, right up until the very end. . Amy Winehouse's death will be felt for decades to come though because, rather than being a loss to music, she's a loss to art and what a waste of such an exemplary talent
. She didn't achieve this success, as most do, by riding on a wave of fashion and fads. She became an icon for teens ,a lovely artist fresh and classic  .i sometimes fail to understand that does this fame makes them crazy or the feat achieved at such a young age makes them to try all"wild adventures"..........so here comes the"DISCIPLINE "that every indian classical dance or music form speaks 

You can like her music or hate it, but you have to admire the fact that she achieved what she did due to her talent. That is incredibly rare. Artists will come and go with different faces and different names, but there will only ever be one Amy Winehouse. And she will be missed
ending this post from her own composition"Rehab"
They tried to make me go to rehab but I said 'no, no, no'
Yes I've been black but when I come back you'll know know know
I ain't got the time and if my daddy thinks I'm fine
He's tried to make me go to rehab but I won't go go go""

with a wish that none loses his/her life to drugs &alcohol..................LIFE IS PRECIOUS &FOR ONCE,TREASURE IT........Sehar
 "

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Thursday, June 23, 2011

the thing called "INFATUATION"

INFATUATION-the most talked about word these days,pick up any magazine &there would be readers from all age group confessing about infatuation
Infatuation is the state of being completely carried away by unreasoned passion or love: 'expresses the headlong libidinal attraction of addictive love. Usually, one is inspired with an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone
in common opinion it is"foolish love"or may be your first step towards love 
n the case of infatuation, there is usually an obsessor and an object of desire, who may or may not be attainable. In its "pure" state, infatuation is characterized by unrealistic expectations of blissful passion
A no surprise that one's first encounter with this feeling is in youth  Thus 'the first passionate adoration of a youth for a celebrated actress whom he regards as far above him, to whom he scarcely dares lift his bashful eyes may be seen as part of an 'infatuation with celebrity i remember having an infatuation for "Salman Khan"&even "Nick"of backstreet boys
Admiration plays a significant part in this, as 'in the case of a schoolgirl crush on a boy or on a female teacher. The girl starts off admiring the teacher..[then] may get hung up on the teacher and follow her around'. There may then be shame at being confronted with the fact that 'you've got what's called a crush on him...and i am pretty sure almost all of us had a crush for our teachers once in lifetime i read a psycho paper claiming that most of the people have infatuation for their doctors"
develops a special interest in the person of the doctor...never tires in his home of praising the doctor and of extolling ever new qualities in him'.What occurs, 'it is usually maintained...is a sort of false love, a shadow of love', replicating in its course the infatuations of 'what is called true love'"
 i am sure many doctors must have some interesting experiences to share 
Coming to the "hot debate"-love vs infatuation
Infatuation is a feeling,a pass by feeling ,more interested in satisfying yourself completely based on physical attraction or someone's really exemplary talent
Love seeks to give,it unselfishly wishes the highest good for other it strengthens with time n separation  
Love is PATIENT,KIND,FORGIVING,NEVER BRAGS,ACCEPTING,APPRECIATING

Throughout the history of mankind, we as a world culture have made love out to be mysterious, complex, difficult, and undefinable we feel its impossible to define love ,or else draw a line between the two ,maybe there's a fear that if we try to define it we would make it less powerful,less impacting maybe we all enjoy the "mystery"attached to it
Lets accept it, infatuation has become a popular model for love itself, and at this very moment, infatuation fever is directing the most critical intimate choices of an enormous sub-culture of singles. 
but wait!how did you know that the sudden spark you felt was infatuation say thanks to love Fever through stories told in pajama party whispers, fairy tales, the anguished confidences of dear friends, through cartoons and fine literature, B-movies and cinematic art, TV sitcoms and soap operas, and romantic novels 
Research has confirmed the existence of an amphetamine-like chemical which is rapidly activated (like lightning!) when we begin to feel attracted to someone.
infatuation cannot exceed its own expectations. It is the spark and the emotional kindling, not a steady, warming fire. It is an appetizer that makes you anticipate the full banquet. But it will not keep you warm and it will not fill you up.
Perhaps the complications surrounding love come from all “stuff” we add on to this powerful emotion. Lets drop all the baggage surrounding relationships and define what it is we are experiencing in the moment of love.
"
Can this be love,
Something so true,
Or maybe infatuation,
Because it’s so new,

Have I finally found,
What I’ve been searching for,
Or is this a dream,
And shall I feel this no more,

I really don’t know,............sehar

Monday, May 9, 2011

i wish to smile,to laugh ,to grow up...........i wish to LIVE

April 29th-the day of WILL-KAT wedding ,the much covered ,the much publicised day (and to be honest i was also eager to know what would be the wedding gown like or rather how"BIG"the royal wedding would be)but in all this frenzy ,we forgot that april 29th is also "WORLD WISH DAY"
So as a member of "MAKE A WISH FOUNDATION" we decided to celebrate this day to make it a memorable one for all the little children associated with it
Lots of gifts,few bicycles , a magic show n whole lot of games made this day a beautiful day.The children arrived ,all accompanied by their parents,siblings &they looked so pale,thin ,friable,anyways i interacted with a few of them taking care not to bring about the topic of their disease because i knew that if they are here it means that asking about the diseases would only add to my dictionary of dreaded diseases and we were there to rejoice
i came to know about the funny yet "the wish"of everyone ,a boy wanted to be "sachin tendulkar"(dont mistake yourself for meeting Sachin,he actually wanted to be one ),a boy "Vivek"wanted a laptop &when i asked him why ,he said he wanted to learn "Hacking"(so all those facebook freaks out there,including me ,this boy was leaukemic)
We painted ,we sang &the children were superb with crayons
The magic show started n the magician showed them tricks with everyone clapping to his tricks but what amazed me the most that every child wanted to learn the trick in which magician would wave his hand in air n bring out coins &asking about why did they wanted to learn this trick in particular they answered "we won't have to ask for money for having chocolates n candies from mummy",the children received many gifts from bicycles to cricket kit for our"junior sachin"n everyone seemed happy
The day ended& having dinner with"Mehak",this cute,lovely girl whose wish was to "walk the ramp like a professional model",i told "Mehak"-when i was 9 years old i never knew what a model was,she said"i know about many models didi n this also that i won't be able to grow up to your age,mummy says i have to go to visit God n i am the lucky one"
kissing her ,i said"you would be the most prettiest model ever beta",the thought came to my mind "DO THEY REALLY WISH FOR MEETING A CELEB,WALKING DOWN A RAMP ETC,OR DO THEY WISH TO SMILE,TO LAUGH ,TO GROW UP .............TO LIVE
"Dry your eyes and cry no more
Your dreams await on nearing shores

A hand extends from someone near
To cast away doubts and fears

It's time to start a life anew
With changes for the both of you

Cling not to the things you've had
Reminders of a time so sad

So rise above the mire and silt
And free yourself of fear and guilt


Question not the things unknown
Just please accept the love you're shown Trust in things you can not see
And maybe you'll believe in me



And now before you here i stand
just make a wish &;hold my hand".............sehar

Friday, April 1, 2011

DREAMS DO COME TRUE

so i am back with a story of "me",a story of a day that changed my life to an extent ,made me friends with some marvelous persons on planet .I am a religious follower of "Paulo Coelho's blog"&always comment on its stories &one day i received this E-Mail:

"         Dear Dr. Proja
I prefer to post your story as my "Reader's story"  later this week, that is why I did not approve the comment
I am copying to my good friend, also a warrior of the light, Priya, who will make the necessary corrections.
Thank you for sharing
Paulo
"

and my mail box flooded with mails,of all the readers &avid followers of Paulo's blog
http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2010/10/27/readers-story-two-choices-in-life/

i thanked paulo &he replied"Thank you for sharing the story. you are not only a beautiful soul,but a good writer too(went through your blog"

what more could i ask for,here was my favorite writer appreciating me.I replied to all the 20000 mails that came to me,sharing a few here
1)kalyan"read your story in Paulo's blog and it did really touched me in heart and i really felt so happy That i cannot express in words. You are a such a nice humble human , inspiring us all . Thanks for sharing and caring and showing us all angels still exist 

2)Erika-your story was inspiring
God bless you forever!!!
 
3)Bhawesh"This is Bhavesh here from Ahmedabad. Really nice story. I am really impressed. Tell me if you need any help whatsoever. and also let me know if you are planning same kind of thing for Ahmedabad. 
4) May the universe smile upon you & your wonderful work to help women become independent AND to build up their self-esteem, their dignity, their ability to pass these things on to their children.
 With great respect & sincerity,
 Kimberly Bennett
Wife, mother, writer, lover, friend
5) Emily-" support the work which are doing.  God bless your life path.
6)Aiman"  read your story on the Paolo Coelho's blog. Thank you for doing what you are doing for those women in need. It does not matter where we live, what our citizenship is, because every country, be it developed or not, has the problems of not being helpful enough to women who do really need help.  I am very happy that there are still people who want to help others, who try their best to inspire and support people they do not know much about.
I am only hoping that the number of people who want to help those who are desperately looking for a job or a shelter will grow on our planet. 
I want to wish you best of luck and may God bless your deeds!  And thank you for sharing your story with others!
7)juliekruger"Thanx  for showing us that we humans can do wonderful things if only we try i have  just read your story and you are an inspiration to me . thankyou
8)francesco bianchi"hi Dr Pooja,wrote about your story in a Spanish newspaper,with the title"a young writer ,pure soul &a beautiful girl...from all my readers want to say THANKYOU
9)and lastly but indeed a very special person"MIA T STARR",an amazing writer&a great friend with a golden heart I wanted to email you directly and share with you what I had just posted at PAULO COELHO's blog in response to your reply to mine regarding your story, TWO CHOICES IN LIFE:
On the eve before fleeing my homeland in April 1975, I was struck with a mysterious infliction (some kind of severe, internal bleeding and clot). Some at the hospital announced I only had a few days to live. Others with my condition had already died. My father refused to believe in this fate for me, refused to give in to the despair swirling around him. He was not alone.
There was a young, female doctor who performed an immediate surgery on me to remove whatever it was that stood in the way of my breath and caused blood to pour from my mouth. I was four years old and one of the few memories I have from that time in the hospital was being in a room full of sick and dying children and thinking, “I am not going to die. Not today. Not here.”
Doctors like you make a difference. Hope makes a difference.
Thank you to you and to all the doctors out there saving lives. As we say in Vietnamese, cảm ơn bạn rất nhiều. Thank you so much."a pleasant gift from Mia &i was honored

http://www.fourdaysaweek.com/2/post/2011/01/two-choices-in-life.html 


The list doesn't end thankful all for being so kind &it would  certainly be one of the most precious memories of my life &why not"DREAMS DO COME TRUE" 
I'm constantly blinking my eyes trying to stay awake
I feel like I'm fallen and I know I better awaken
I'm constantly reminiscing on what are the meanings of my dreams
My dreams are beyond an ordinary dream
In my dreams I have already been here and there
I feel like I'm trapped in a cage
Because it continues to leave me puzzled like a maze
I feel like in life it is meant for us to dream
Because dreams are what bring life to reality
All I know is I must awaken before life passes me by
Because I pray when I die I get to live in the sky.......sehar
 
 

Monday, March 7, 2011

ON INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY-CELEBRATING THE MYSTERY CALLED"WOMEN"

A leading businesswoman of India when named in"TIME'S MOST INFLUENTIAL WOMEN"went happily to her mother &gave this news to her her mother said"Congratulations,we all are proud of your success as a family but you know i wud be a happier when you would be a perfect daughter,a perfect wife &a perfect mother,when you &everyone around would feel that you are a "perfect woman".These were the words of a proud mother of "Kiran Majumdar Shaw",CEO BIOCON &winner of many national &international awards Kudos to her mother &to 'a mystery called woman"who very easily dissolves herself into endless relationships &responsbilities &when people around her are happy she is the happiest person on earth To every woman....HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY"
"The origin of a child is a mother, a woman… She shows a man what
loving, caring and sharing is all about..” said Sushmita Sen, India’s first Miss Universe, in the final round of the contest. An answer which was greeted with tremendous applause and which probably, led her to win the crown.
Indeed a woman’s essence lies in her innate ability to care, love and sacrifice for the other. She plays an all-enveloping character of a mother, daughter, wife and sister as a friend, nurturer, guide and partner from time to time. Emotional  and vulnerable, sometimes erratic, sometimes serene, she displays a wonderful range of emotions from being patient to being extremely courageous in times of crisis.
Tormented and subjugated throughout all times and ages, women have fought their way through exploitation, harassment, and have managed to secure their rights in the public domain. In spite of continuing exploitation and injustice against women both in the domestic and work sector today, several milestones have been achieved in terms of education, freedom of choice and liberty, equality etc.With growing literacy and financial independence women feel more empowered today to assert their right to a life of dignity and self worth. The International Women's Day celebrated on 8th March is a universal day for all women around the world. It endows them with a sense of honour,dignity and self respect for being the person that they are. This day marks a celebration of the economic, social, cultural and political achievements made by women over the years. It is amazing how women are so wonderfully giving and loving. Their love is unconditional and forever. And once
they forgive, they really forget. They don’t dig out the heavy
artillery, even when they have the best opportunities
to do so.a woman, it is the perfect mix that makes men goes weak-kneed. The sensuality combined with nurturing,

the naughtiness combined with
caring, the vivacity coupled with quiet
understanding. It is a heady mix and man, it is very intoxicating.
to..TO the Mother who loves others even more
To THE BUSINESS WOMAN
TO THE SPORTS WOMEN
TO THE LEADERS
TO THE HOMEMAKER OF FAMILY
TO...ALL THE WOMEN......."HAPPY WOMEN DAY"

some lines by a leading poet"Subhadra kumari Chauhan"truly depict the journey of WOMEN 
जब तक मैं मैं हूँ, तुम तुम हो,
है जीवन में जीवन।
कोई नहीं छीन सकता
तुमको मुझसे मेरे धन॥

आओ मेरे हृदय-कुंज में

निर्भय करो विहार।
सदा बंद रखूँगी
मैं अपने अंतर का द्वार॥

नहीं लांछना की लपटें

प्रिय तुम तक जाने पाएँगीं।
पीड़ित करने तुम्हें
वेदनाएं न वहाँ आएँगीं॥

अपने उच्छ्वासों से मिश्रित

कर आँसू की बूँद।
शीतल कर दूँगी तुम प्रियतम
सोना आँखें मूँद॥

जगने पर पीना छक-छककर

मेरी मदिरा की प्याली।
एक बूँद भी शेष
न रहने देना करना खाली॥

नशा उतर जाए फिर भी

बाकी रह जाए खुमारी।
रह जाए लाली आँखों में
स्मृतियाँ प्यारी-प्यारी॥ .............SUBHADRA KUMARI CHAUHAN..................sehar

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

ARE YOU A VICTIM OF "SEXISM"

Anisha is a young,confident girl .Coming from a small city&a humble
background,she completed her MBA from a reputed institute of Ahmadabad
&was recruited by a major consulting company of Mumbai.All excited
about her new job,the feeling of being a self dependent woman
exhilarated her With an over enthusiasm to perform to her best ,she
joined the company,but only after few weeks she started feeling sick
about the mere idea of dressing up for office.She could hear her male
colleagues passing"uncanny"&"sexual"

remarks loudly as and when she
passed by.Whenever she tried to confront them they behaved as if they
were having  a 'casual talk"this whole work environment made her
uncomfortable &she started getting irritated at silly things
Does this story of 'Anisha' remind you of your personal
experience,?then you are a victim of"sexism"Sexism is basically any
discriminatory practices,statements or actions directed at a
particular sex .A recent study by university of Florida said"with a
retention rate of 60%,sexism in workplace is happening even in today's
workforce where men &women are supposedly equal as far as
participation
Sexism can come in many ugly forms. Smacking someone on the behind or
fondling them is one horrid form of this situation. Crude remarks can
also be uncalled for. This includes making tasteless jokes and saying
things that could bother someone else.
TIPS TO DEAL WITH SEXISM:
1) Publicly confront instances of sexism- directly challenging such
instances of sexism can serve as an antidote for negative
psychological effects-turning a negative event into an instance that
makes women feel better about themselves and their work, and even to
feel empowered,
2)Change Your Style to Match the Situation-We censor ourselves all the
time in different types of situations but this won't work speak louder
and make your ideas heard.  If everyone is interrupting each other,
start interrupting to get your voice heard. when you adopt the
dominate communication style.it really helps
3)Be confident to say "no"-When you experience “casual” sexism,just be
confident to say "no"For example, if you are always getting asked to
complete a menial task, or accompanying  lunches or meetings, suggest
that the group rotates responsibility every month.  Make it clear that
you are not their secretary.&they should respect that
4)Talk to your seniors-let the higher authorities know that there is
some problems with the work culture
5)Know When To Leave -sexism is about drawing lines.  Every person has
their own line that they must draw, where on one side lie the things
they will put up with and on the other lie the things they will not
tolerate.  Every time that line is crossed, that person has the choice
to either deal or leave So if sexism is out of control in your current
workplace, by your standards, I would suggest leaving.  And then stop
working for companies that don’t draw their line where you draw yours
Find a company that aligns with your values, and you shouldn’t have
any more problems with sexism.
Sexism is still common but it should never be tolerated Don't stand
for it and make it known that you won't. We all deserve to be treated
the same. Equality is more than a word. It is the way we all need to
be treated..............sehar