IF ONLY................

Have you ever met a person who admits to nursing regrets ?these regrets can be many-not making a proper career choices,not having given enough time to family,the most common being not expressing your emotions to a person whom you once loved the most ,!Being beset with doubts about yourself &the life you have chosen is well recognized symptoms of MID LIFE CRISIS

Actually lets be honest,we all once in life think that life would have been different if we made some different choices .aptly termed as turning point decisions!  The difference being how do we react to these thoughts,some of us dismiss it in the name of destiny while the other group believes that its we n only we who determine our paths

Mid life crisis is a period of dramatic self doubt that that is felt by some individuals as a result of sensing the passing of youth n entry of old age people start reassessing their achievements in terms of their dreams which results in significant"out of turn"decisions related to work,marriage.relationships &even physical appearance 

If we all could accept the life that is meant for us.it would lead to greater satisfaction.the anger over "second best"never allows you to enjoy life to its fullest whats the use of crying over"ifs" &"wish i hadn't",the reality is circumstances were NOT different,time never goes in reverse mode&even after you deeply regret ,nothing's gonna change 

One of the best novels about midlife crisis "BACK WHEN WE WERE GROWNUPS" BY ANNE TYLAR is about a woman Rebecca ,53,who has a so called successful life with kids n buisness suddenly realizes"that she had turned into a wrong person".She wonders what a lovely life she would have if she had not dumped her sweetheart to marry a man older than her .She takes up a long journey to find her"Long Lost life"but ultimately realizes that "THERE IS NO TRUE LIFE ,YOUR LIFE IS THE ONE YOU END UP WITH WHATEVER IT MAY BE.YOU JUST DO THE BEST YOU CAN WITH WHAT YOU HAVE GOT"

Follow your passion,make sure you have time for your loved ones &take responsibility of your decisions &their results because"YOU CANNOT CONNECT THE DOTS LOOKING FORWARD ,YOU CAN ONLY CONNECT THEM BACKWARD,YOU HAVE TO TRUST THAT THESE DOTS WILL SOMEHOW CONNECT  IN  YOUR FUTURE:STEVE JOBS"

YEH DILLI HAI MERE YAAR

Its Delhi's 100th birthday,celebrating 100 years of this magnificent city where ancient &modernity have entered into a wedlock.On 12 dec 1911 was held"Dilli Durbaar" &as India awoke to freedom &life at the stroke of midnight hour city of Delhi underwent several dramatic changes in topography,typology ,demographics&culture. If you visit any state of India you would be welcomed by a distinct aura of ethnicity surrounding it that is distinct to that place,but when it comes to Delhi,its a perfect example of multiculturalism blended into a lovely cohesion where"Delhites"limits itself to the cool guys n gals .Delhi actually belongs to everyone ,its ethnicity is Indian &is completely"Desi"by heart .You are left amazed of the infrastructure that goes taller day by day&the Delhi girls who never cease to be prettier.Ask someone for directions &you would get a bonus of information on whats the coolest eating joint nearby!believe me Delhi is a crazy foodie by heart,it proudly boasts itself of the best restaurants with international cuisines as well as the most amazing street food &that explains that noone complains of crowd n traffic jam when "Praratha wali gali"is nearby .So take a break from FDI disaster.Sibal being a net nanny&rehearsal for the upcoming "Mai Bhi Ana"movement &celebrate 100 years of a city that celebrates&reinvents itself daily .A saga of Power,conquests n revolts ,a city that has seen its transition from the mighty Indraprastha of pandavas,shahjanabad &dilli of mughals to Lutyens 'New Delhi-its a city of Power,Politics,Food,Fashion along with a dark underbelly:HAPPY 100TH BIRTHDAY DILLI/DELHI                                  

The new rule book of chivalry

Welcome to the new age urban India couples where


 complexities have started to creep in .Women who in the past


 enjoyed their newly found financial independence ,some of 


them have out passed their partners in terms of paycheck 


badly disturbing the personal equations in the domestic 


economy &they are better off known as "Lets share it 


half" couples 


Once upon a time ,the rule book of 


chivalry had its predefined conventions where the guy used to


 pay the bills on the date ,he used to be the sole responsibility 


bearer &paycheck was never an issue in the day to day 


differences .But that's a pass now,these 


young,ambitious,upwardly mobile couples with their 


big fat salary are sharing equally everything from electricity 


bills ,home rent to of course the expenses on "dinner date"! Its 


their practical solution to avoid arguments &inferiority 


complexes that can take a toll on their sex life too


This new perspective is actually about how gender roles are 


perceived in a society ,both through a woman's &a man's eye .


When a woman thinks that she doesn't believe in stereotypical 


gender roles &man on what should be the power &equation 


issues &differences see a "Most Welcome"sign

Make your own rules,break the same 


when you feel they are an obstacle in 


your relationship,keep the spark alive 


&don't change the"And they lived 


happily ever after..............." to "And 


they lived happily ever after till hers 


salary got a hike"..........sehar

ALEPH.........'coz Life is the train not the station

If you have opened this post in hope of reading a book review of 

Paulo Coelho's latest novel"Aleph" ,sorry to disappoint you ,its 

an attempt to rewrite a personal experience .My encounter 

with literature when my date with comics ended up started with 

"Dr Harivansha Rai Bachhan's :Kya Bhoolo Kya Yaad 

Karu"&from that age i have a penchant for reading 

autobiographies or personal experiences as has been very 

rightly quoted "The act of writing with serious intent 

involves enormous personal risks"

The great writings are those that are written with all 

honesty &to put it more flatly with all the guts &no 

doubt "Aleph" stands tall in that .A tale about love 

without the boundaries of time&space,a tale about 

believing in yourself,a tale about forgiveness &above all 

a tale that above moral policing takes you above fair -

unfair to strengthen the bond of marriage

We all have an aleph moment but somehow we fail to 

realize it in the race from past to present to future but 

always remember :Each new experience of love has 

nothing to do with past 

experiences,its always new 

It takes you to a new journey of 

spiritual search where acts of 

compassion & 

selflessness,forgiveness n inner 

peace are its characteristics .

Writing is spiritual for me ,

,dancing connects me to the god

Read &experience aleph ,encounter your fears 

&shortcomings not only because "Each end gives us an 

opputunity for rebirth"but also to always keep in heart 

that "Life is one long training session,in preparation for 

what will come.Life &death lose their meaning,there are 

challenges to be met with joy &overcome with 

tranquility"

Wishing you your moment of aleph :

"Eternal fires light moonless nights

while love flickers in the shadows

embraced by guarded secrecy

from ashes of surrender".........sehar

LOVE MYTHS

Love-a word that carries an aura of mystery around it ,blame it on the romantic novels or the movies ,we always dream of a fairy tale story of ours This search for perfection never ends &sooner or later we realize the whole mystery is a myth


1)LOVE KNOWS NO BOUNDARIES: We read some stories in which the prince charming falls for a poor girl,the princess goes with the thief,watch a movie in which a superstar"pretty woman" confesses her love for a common guy-these magical stories make you go gaga but helloz....... this things happen only in John Hughes movies or mills &boons novels .Relationship is all about finding a more compatible partner often on an unconscious basis


2)LOVE HAPPENS ONCE IN A LIFETIME:We have grown up believing that life is all about finding one soul mate & the famous holy line"and they lived happily ever after" &for all my buddies who have grown up in"Dil to pagal hai"breed of romance its about honestly believing that we are created in pairs &when the perfect time comes ,we meet them n flowers bloom n music plays.........give yourself a break this is a sheer nonsense Psychology only proves that our expectations from the same partner changes with time


3)LOVE DEPENDS ON MEETING OF MINDS:You will never see things through your partner eyes because you are two genetically different people .you are genetically,psychologically &historically different .Relationship is all about being with a person who enriches you &not reflects you .Men &women are wired differently so respect your differences


4)LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT:Its very common to be absolutely smitten by someone in first meeting but this is just a major crush or looks based attraction ,chances of turning into a serious relationship are possible only in Shakespeare's works we all nurse the dream of finding a partner how much we claim 

that we are happy single ,our subconscious makes us believe that this attraction is love

5)THERE IS A RIGHT WAY &A WRONG WAY TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP GREAT:Nothing could be far from truth.There is no right way to be a good spouse,good partner or to handle a relationship challenge .Remember not to be rigid about the way in which you accept your partner's expressions of love .The fact that your partner has a different way of expressing feelings doesn't make it less genuine

"Love has nothing to with the five senses &six directions............RUMI"

for "DADDY'S GIRLS"..........

This post came out of a research journal in Science Daily"women who enjoy good childhood relationships with their fathers are more likely to select partners like their dads"

So do we need a science daily to prove this?Absolutely not .........Throw a question to any girl barring age ,marital status "The man you love the most?".....&would come an instant reply from a daddy's girl "MY DAD" 
Girls having a caring dad who has always pampered her has a direct impact on who she finds attractive ,conforms Dr Lynda "We can now say that daughters who have a very positive childhood relationships with their fathers choose men with similar facial characteristics"

"Similar facial characteristics" is a bit too far but with due respect to Sigmond Freud its more on the level of making dads an iconic character in our lives .Every daughter wants a man who will protect them with care like their dads ,not because she needs it but only because he loves her 

Lets face the truth its very difficult to find a person who closely resembles your"real life hero",at the end of the day every person has their own place ,their own admirable qualities &also habits which can irritate you to the core :cherish it ,value it &love it you would surely give a second thought before answering "THE MAN YOU LOVE THE MOST"

Ending this note for all the daddy's girls &their wonderful dads


"A little girl needs her daddy

To love her with manly charm,

To soothe her when she's hurt,

And keep her safe from harm.

A girl needs her dad

To show her a man who's good
,
To help her make right choices,

As only a father could.

A woman needs her father

Just to be aware,

He'll always be there for her

To sustain her and to care.

You've been all these things, Dad
.
I hope that you can see

How much I treasure you
;

You mean everything to me."

LOVE YOU DAD.......................Sehar

Are you On Facebook????????

So i am back with a short story:
DISCLAIMER-this is not a work of fiction &bears some striking resemblances to some persons very much living on this planet&if it offends someone ,i ask for a sincere apology

"I was traveling to my home town in a train with a resolution that i am not gonna  talk to anyone this time as is a habit of me to land into conversation with every single person around(some"bad" experiences behind it)everything was going fine & as a sincere study bug i had carried some study material along with me (*god save me from the torture as soon as possible ,instead of "mills &boons" i was reading microeconomics)

Suddenly i noticed  a guy peeping into my book as if he has authored the same ,when i looked up he said"are you preparing for some exam" ???
ME-yes
He-which one?
ME-civil services
He-wow.....thats cool(*i wish i could also have said a wow&cool)


Then he started extracting from me every detail about the exam ,system ,corruption ,polity n we had a long conversation
n next time if you find his name among the toppers n he says hez thankful to parents,god &teachers,please include "the girl in train";-)


Then there were all the people around who participated in conversation which got heated up as every single person wanted to show that he is no less"socially &politically enlightened" citizen than the other  &the one in disadvantage was this poor guy who had painstakingly started this conversation &now was the least heard voice


The caterers served diner &gradually the environment which just a minutes before presented  a discussion point of another"Jasmine  revolution"shifted gears on whether they should include "gulab jamun" on deserta instead of vanilla ice cream .....So everybody retired to sleep &then the "guy" took a front seat and contd.....


He-So what did you do for graduation?
Me-I am a doctor
He-wow..thats cool(my thoughts:same as above),so it seems you are a writer?
Me-a little bit of writing i do (plzzz ,do i look like a fool?i know you have overheard me talking on  phone about me being a writer*)

A little bit of  talking continued about delhi,my home state,family till i interrupted that i needed to sleep.There was en exchange of goodnights
i woke up amid tea &the same "revolutionaries" discussing  a civil rights movement of India .There came my station n i picked up my bag to get down ,bid goodbye to everyone including that guy and then.........

He-it was nice meeting you ,Dr.....hmm
Me-same here ok then goodbye
He-ARE YOU ON FACEBOOK???????
Me-amm........No
He-Twitter?
Me- No


He gave me such a disappointing look as if he just came to know that his blind date is a gay


He-okk doctor all the best for your exams
Me-thanks a lot


i walked down the platform with a smile thinking that hope he does not google my name to find out a freaking facebook fan & a twitterati in totalitarian
.remembered the movie"The Social Network" n was wondering if the movie was true ,then how "uncool"Mark Zuckerburg was .i don't think he had even started a conversation with a girl on train(come on he was not interested in the girls who were his fans)...so take a bow Mark -you not only made yourself a youngest millionaire but gave a new "hip &happening" passaway line to this new generation cheers to you &facebook


meeting my family i suddenly realized i forgot to buy some chocolates for the two kids at home ,i turned back ,rushed to nearest tea stall to get hold of some candies &there was this guy with his back facing me smoking a cigarette with his friend ...so here goes the last conversation


Friend-So whats up?kuch baat bani"(did something crop up)

He- a complete waste of time yaar,of one whole train journey ............can you believe "SHE IS NOT EVEN ON FACEBOOK!!!!!!!!!!!"