BEING SINGLE BY CHOICE.............IS NOT A CHOICE AT ALL

It’s not about Pride and Prejudice……….Sweetheart

DISCLAIMER- this post is written in honor of the women who text me “Hey whatsup! Looking good yaar! Aur bata shaadi kab kar rahi hai, you are crossing the age dear”

Pride and prejudice – we all loved the classic novel and the movie too ( Even the Aishwarya Rai starrer hindi version was kind of ok), the movie which deals with marriage and happily ever after theory. This theory has been fed, forced fed to us since generations.

Frequently these days I come across friends on whatsapp, we chat, facebook , growing out of the sunny side of Pride &Prejudice phase and though their beautifully photoshopped pictures may say that the metaphorical happiness is actually there. Being together is a bliss and motherhood a blessing but strangely the same species with whom you hanged out as free birds don the cap of a blackmailer from “There would be no one around to take care of you” to counselor you don’t need “At right age , you should be settled”.

This feminism is what we are not able to overcome how many centuries may pass. In India being single by choice is not a choice at all, single may be one who is unmarried, divorced, widowed and let’s not blame any social hierarchy or patriarchal mindset for it ,it’s the females around you and the serial conspiracy to make you one of their own.

This lack of empathy is what throws us away from  the superbly written posts on feminism, who the hell other than we can challenge the notion of a perfect body, perfect shape, perfect color, perfect job and perfect age to marry, to bear child…….etc. This mad race of all things perfect is started by a woman   and the one cheering you up are your girlfriends who have already finished the race.

Marriage is beautiful , it gives you a companion to share- share everything from white and black ,to the gloomy blues to sunny yellow . Children are the ultimate stress buster, their talks, no nonsense love ,their growing up everything is so lively. I love them, my nieces make my life a permanent smiley.I look up to having that companion, to a marriage that is a like chilling out with a buddy to even a child some day, i just don't look up to this constant pricking by the happily married double XX chromosomes 24*7.

Recently I talked to a woman whom I admired for her spontaneous personality and the 10 minute talk that followed she gave me advices about marriageable age, how to balance career with marriage and also the month in which  I should get married  for a decent 9.6 minutes.Women who are on the other side of fence eager to increase their number are the ones who say unpleasant things to the ones who are happily independent, to the ones who are not able to bear child. It is a sad remnant of sexism in its another ugly form when a women’s worth is calculated on the scores of her ability to keep her marriage happy and her ability to bear child at the right age.

I love you girls ,I love your Facebook and Instagram pictures of being “happily married” ,just don’t let your centuries old reflexes of “being perfect” judge other’s lives. Everyone has its own taste of sugar in the coffee or may be someone hates coffee too.

Happy Living ………………Sehar