LOVE MYTHS

Love-a word that carries an aura of mystery around it ,blame it on the romantic novels or the movies ,we always dream of a fairy tale story of ours This search for perfection never ends &sooner or later we realize the whole mystery is a myth


1)LOVE KNOWS NO BOUNDARIES: We read some stories in which the prince charming falls for a poor girl,the princess goes with the thief,watch a movie in which a superstar"pretty woman" confesses her love for a common guy-these magical stories make you go gaga but helloz....... this things happen only in John Hughes movies or mills &boons novels .Relationship is all about finding a more compatible partner often on an unconscious basis


2)LOVE HAPPENS ONCE IN A LIFETIME:We have grown up believing that life is all about finding one soul mate & the famous holy line"and they lived happily ever after" &for all my buddies who have grown up in"Dil to pagal hai"breed of romance its about honestly believing that we are created in pairs &when the perfect time comes ,we meet them n flowers bloom n music plays.........give yourself a break this is a sheer nonsense Psychology only proves that our expectations from the same partner changes with time


3)LOVE DEPENDS ON MEETING OF MINDS:You will never see things through your partner eyes because you are two genetically different people .you are genetically,psychologically &historically different .Relationship is all about being with a person who enriches you &not reflects you .Men &women are wired differently so respect your differences


4)LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT:Its very common to be absolutely smitten by someone in first meeting but this is just a major crush or looks based attraction ,chances of turning into a serious relationship are possible only in Shakespeare's works we all nurse the dream of finding a partner how much we claim 

that we are happy single ,our subconscious makes us believe that this attraction is love

5)THERE IS A RIGHT WAY &A WRONG WAY TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP GREAT:Nothing could be far from truth.There is no right way to be a good spouse,good partner or to handle a relationship challenge .Remember not to be rigid about the way in which you accept your partner's expressions of love .The fact that your partner has a different way of expressing feelings doesn't make it less genuine

"Love has nothing to with the five senses &six directions............RUMI"

for "DADDY'S GIRLS"..........

This post came out of a research journal in Science Daily"women who enjoy good childhood relationships with their fathers are more likely to select partners like their dads"

So do we need a science daily to prove this?Absolutely not .........Throw a question to any girl barring age ,marital status "The man you love the most?".....&would come an instant reply from a daddy's girl "MY DAD" 
Girls having a caring dad who has always pampered her has a direct impact on who she finds attractive ,conforms Dr Lynda "We can now say that daughters who have a very positive childhood relationships with their fathers choose men with similar facial characteristics"

"Similar facial characteristics" is a bit too far but with due respect to Sigmond Freud its more on the level of making dads an iconic character in our lives .Every daughter wants a man who will protect them with care like their dads ,not because she needs it but only because he loves her 

Lets face the truth its very difficult to find a person who closely resembles your"real life hero",at the end of the day every person has their own place ,their own admirable qualities &also habits which can irritate you to the core :cherish it ,value it &love it you would surely give a second thought before answering "THE MAN YOU LOVE THE MOST"

Ending this note for all the daddy's girls &their wonderful dads


"A little girl needs her daddy

To love her with manly charm,

To soothe her when she's hurt,

And keep her safe from harm.

A girl needs her dad

To show her a man who's good
,
To help her make right choices,

As only a father could.

A woman needs her father

Just to be aware,

He'll always be there for her

To sustain her and to care.

You've been all these things, Dad
.
I hope that you can see

How much I treasure you
;

You mean everything to me."

LOVE YOU DAD.......................Sehar

Are you On Facebook????????

So i am back with a short story:
DISCLAIMER-this is not a work of fiction &bears some striking resemblances to some persons very much living on this planet&if it offends someone ,i ask for a sincere apology

"I was traveling to my home town in a train with a resolution that i am not gonna  talk to anyone this time as is a habit of me to land into conversation with every single person around(some"bad" experiences behind it)everything was going fine & as a sincere study bug i had carried some study material along with me (*god save me from the torture as soon as possible ,instead of "mills &boons" i was reading microeconomics)

Suddenly i noticed  a guy peeping into my book as if he has authored the same ,when i looked up he said"are you preparing for some exam" ???
ME-yes
He-which one?
ME-civil services
He-wow.....thats cool(*i wish i could also have said a wow&cool)


Then he started extracting from me every detail about the exam ,system ,corruption ,polity n we had a long conversation
n next time if you find his name among the toppers n he says hez thankful to parents,god &teachers,please include "the girl in train";-)


Then there were all the people around who participated in conversation which got heated up as every single person wanted to show that he is no less"socially &politically enlightened" citizen than the other  &the one in disadvantage was this poor guy who had painstakingly started this conversation &now was the least heard voice


The caterers served diner &gradually the environment which just a minutes before presented  a discussion point of another"Jasmine  revolution"shifted gears on whether they should include "gulab jamun" on deserta instead of vanilla ice cream .....So everybody retired to sleep &then the "guy" took a front seat and contd.....


He-So what did you do for graduation?
Me-I am a doctor
He-wow..thats cool(my thoughts:same as above),so it seems you are a writer?
Me-a little bit of writing i do (plzzz ,do i look like a fool?i know you have overheard me talking on  phone about me being a writer*)

A little bit of  talking continued about delhi,my home state,family till i interrupted that i needed to sleep.There was en exchange of goodnights
i woke up amid tea &the same "revolutionaries" discussing  a civil rights movement of India .There came my station n i picked up my bag to get down ,bid goodbye to everyone including that guy and then.........

He-it was nice meeting you ,Dr.....hmm
Me-same here ok then goodbye
He-ARE YOU ON FACEBOOK???????
Me-amm........No
He-Twitter?
Me- No


He gave me such a disappointing look as if he just came to know that his blind date is a gay


He-okk doctor all the best for your exams
Me-thanks a lot


i walked down the platform with a smile thinking that hope he does not google my name to find out a freaking facebook fan & a twitterati in totalitarian
.remembered the movie"The Social Network" n was wondering if the movie was true ,then how "uncool"Mark Zuckerburg was .i don't think he had even started a conversation with a girl on train(come on he was not interested in the girls who were his fans)...so take a bow Mark -you not only made yourself a youngest millionaire but gave a new "hip &happening" passaway line to this new generation cheers to you &facebook


meeting my family i suddenly realized i forgot to buy some chocolates for the two kids at home ,i turned back ,rushed to nearest tea stall to get hold of some candies &there was this guy with his back facing me smoking a cigarette with his friend ...so here goes the last conversation


Friend-So whats up?kuch baat bani"(did something crop up)

He- a complete waste of time yaar,of one whole train journey ............can you believe "SHE IS NOT EVEN ON FACEBOOK!!!!!!!!!!!"












 

DREAMS,DESIRES,DEPRESSION,DISTRESS,DRUGS and.............DEATH

"YOU ARE OUR ANGEL!SLEEP TIGHT!MOM DAD WOULD ALWAYS LOVE YOU .........RIP AMY"

 This was the message from a father who lost his daughter at 27 &the media the world over 
 showing us the news &reminding of"club 27"celebs &this post came up because i had a long thought that why these celebrities who achieve so much at a young age ,surrender to drugs &alcohol...why another club 27 celeb?why amy winehouse?

Last year i started learning kathak ,my long cherished dream ,when i met"guruji",he asked me why kathak,i said"i love dancing n it gives me inner happiness".He said"you know what art is all about?its all about discipline,discipline not in practice but in Life,worship your art ,live your art ,do not dance for name,fame &money,dance for your soul"

Winehouse's issues with drugs and alcohol have been well documented. There's nothing the tabloid media likes to do more than build a celebrity up and then knock them down, documenting the filth and the gory details with voyeuristic glee. Youtube, too, is full of clips showing Winehouse stumbling across the stage during a show. Sadly, she never received the help that she so badly needed. Anybody that has ever known an addict, be it drugs, alcohol, gambling or anything else, knows that the only person that can really help an addict is the addict. You can't tell an alcoholic to stop drinking. They have to be ready

However, when a person is in the public eye like Winehouse was . There would be people surrounding you who would make you a proud person &they will be the first one to push you back If that sounds pathetic, it is.
there would be many who would say "I don't feel sorry for Amy Winehouse. She did it to herself".  Only Amy Winehouse could have helped Amy Winehouse, but she didn't ask to be an addict. Most of us are blessed with a mind that knows when to stop. We can have two beers, three maybe, and then happily go home. The mind of an alcoholic isn't built like that. There's only alcohol &no to drinking. There's no in-between. If that doesn't make sense to you, that's because you are not an addict and you, and I, should feel very grateful about that. 


Tragically, Winehouse never got on top of her disease. It controlled her for the majority of her short life, right up until the very end. . Amy Winehouse's death will be felt for decades to come though because, rather than being a loss to music, she's a loss to art and what a waste of such an exemplary talent
. She didn't achieve this success, as most do, by riding on a wave of fashion and fads. She became an icon for teens ,a lovely artist fresh and classic  .i sometimes fail to understand that does this fame makes them crazy or the feat achieved at such a young age makes them to try all"wild adventures"..........so here comes the"DISCIPLINE "that every indian classical dance or music form speaks 

You can like her music or hate it, but you have to admire the fact that she achieved what she did due to her talent. That is incredibly rare. Artists will come and go with different faces and different names, but there will only ever be one Amy Winehouse. And she will be missed

ending this post from her own composition"Rehab"
They tried to make me go to rehab but I said 'no, no, no'
Yes I've been black but when I come back you'll know know know
I ain't got the time and if my daddy thinks I'm fine
He's tried to make me go to rehab but I won't go go go""
with a wish that none loses his/her life to drugs &alcohol..................LIFE IS PRECIOUS &FOR ONCE,TREASURE IT........Sehar
 "

the thing called "INFATUATION"

INFATUATION-the most talked about word these days,pick up any magazine &there would be readers from all age group confessing about infatuation

Infatuation is the state of being completely carried away by unreasoned passion or love: 'expresses the headlong libidinal attraction of addictive love. Usually, one is inspired with an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone
in common opinion it is"foolish love"or may be your first step towards love 
n the case of infatuation, there is usually an obsessor and an object of desire, who may or may not be attainable. In its "pure" state, infatuation is characterized by unrealistic expectations of blissful passion
A no surprise that one's first encounter with this feeling is in youth  Thus 'the first passionate adoration of a youth for a celebrated actress whom he regards as far above him, to whom he scarcely dares lift his bashful eyes may be seen as part of an 'infatuation with celebrity i remember having an infatuation for "Salman Khan"&even "Nick"of backstreet boys
Admiration plays a significant part in this, as 'in the case of a schoolgirl crush on a boy or on a female teacher. The girl starts off admiring the teacher..[then] may get hung up on the teacher and follow her around'. There may then be shame at being confronted with the fact that 'you've got what's called a crush on him...and i am pretty sure almost all of us had a crush for our teachers once in lifetime i read a psycho paper claiming that most of the people have infatuation for their doctors"
develops a special interest in the person of the doctor...never tires in his home of praising the doctor and of extolling ever new qualities in him'.What occurs, 'it is usually maintained...is a sort of false love, a shadow of love', replicating in its course the infatuations of 'what is called true love'^"

 i am sure many doctors must have some interesting experiences to share 
Coming to the "hot debate"-love vs infatuation
Infatuation is a feeling,a pass by feeling ,more interested in satisfying yourself completely based on physical attraction or someone's really exemplary talent
Love seeks to give,it unselfishly wishes the highest good for other it strengthens with time n separation  
Love is PATIENT,KIND,FORGIVING,NEVER BRAGS,ACCEPTING,APPRECIATING

Throughout the history of mankind, we as a world culture have made love out to be mysterious, complex, difficult, and undefinable we feel its impossible to define love ,or else draw a line between the two ,maybe there's a fear that if we try to define it we would make it less powerful,less impacting maybe we all enjoy the "mystery"attached to it
Lets accept it, infatuation has become a popular model for love itself, and at this very moment, infatuation fever is directing the most critical intimate choices of an enormous sub-culture of singles. 
but wait!how did you know that the sudden spark you felt was infatuation say thanks to love Fever through stories told in pajama party whispers, fairy tales, the anguished confidences of dear friends, through cartoons and fine literature, B-movies and cinematic art, TV sitcoms and soap operas, and romantic novels 

Research has confirmed the existence of an amphetamine-like chemical which is rapidly activated (like lightning!) when we begin to feel attracted to someone.
infatuation cannot exceed its own expectations. It is the spark and the emotional kindling, not a steady, warming fire. It is an appetizer that makes you anticipate the full banquet. But it will not keep you warm and it will not fill you up.
Perhaps the complications surrounding love come from all “stuff” we add on to this powerful emotion. Lets drop all the baggage surrounding relationships and define what it is we are experiencing in the moment of love.
"
Can this be love,
Something so true,
Or maybe infatuation,
Because it’s so new,
Have I finally found,
What I’ve been searching for,
Or is this a dream,
And shall I feel this no more,
I really don’t know,............sehar