For Every Woman Counts

Women make the world beautiful

Once upon a time there was one quintessential Indian woman wearing other’s choices , a demure creature letting the men folk of the house take the lead, take the decisions that may be affecting her life in a long term. No matter she was facing sexual abuse in the protected environment she stayed, emotional abuse at the relations she was known by and her only talent  was to suffer in silence.

Take a look around at the bus stops , metro stations ,roads you can view endless number of women smartly dressed managing work with family, supermoms  breaking the shackles ,participating in a wave of change that is swept through India .No I don’t claim that every woman is empowered but then be it a small percentage these are the makers of modern India.

No this change was not sudden, the first was economic reforms, IT revolution that created Jobs from hospitality to beauty .The opening up of economy and entry of  MNCs brought a culture where women were given an equal status at the work place. Secondly the western influence Sushmita sen crying after winning the Miss Universe title and South Africans cheering for Aishwarya rai for the miss world title was something that opened the windows of dreams for the common middle class girl.

While economy provided opportunities it was the family support that led them to break all academic records year by year in every sphere. They were everywhere from IITs to Space science ,from movies to trekking and its not just the urban lot .In rural India women are there in Panchayats ,local bodies they have formed Self Help Group andare enjoying  their share of development pie   

The girls like Sania Nehwal ,The heroes like Laxmi (Against Acid Attack campaigner ) , The writers ,the girls protesting against Gang Rape  ,the common girls running the “Pink Chaddi campaign “ ,social activists ,the MLAs, MPs ,CEOs of multinationals  are the faces of the new and vibrant  India

Frantz Fanon “ A modern woman is the one who literally forged a new place by her sheer strength ,where men’s words were no longer law and where women were no longer silent”

Can you find this modern woman? Look around – you have a mom who is a perfect home maker , a sister who has similar dreams of a great career as you , a neighbor who runs a beauty parlor  , a maid who tells you that she wants to educate her children ,the salesgirl at the  malls , the  woman in uniform unknowingly doing this for a better India and they are the ones who truly deserve wishes for a  #Happy International Women’s Day

IF YOU LOVE A GIRL THAT WRITES.................

STATUTORY WARNING- Its love that I am talking about not something called “Dating” because writers and to top them up with readers ( which writers usually are) end up as the person you will regret dating

Someday you may find a girl that is smoking hot(does that sound like a kebab………..whatever) or the one having a cutest dimple or someone with a superwoman like career graph ,but then its difficult to find a girl hidden somewhere that writes, a girl who scribbles down something interesting by observing people around her , a girl who loves a song not because of music or the feet tapping beats but because of the words that create magic ,Jazz or  does not make her swoon as “ You say it best when you say nothing at all” does

You can always find these endangered species tucked up in a corner of coffee shop with a book ,completely oblivious of their surroundings ,enjoying their own company, u dare go to them and ask to join and behind those big frames would be the eyes with a look that says “Hey Mister,you just so walked in to destroy my soulful  meditation”

These are usually the most inexpressive , die heart unromantic  girls but behold your breath sir,in this age of overconnected ,overnetworked digital era,she will write you small handwritten notes ,poems dedicated to you, elaborate letters that will make you wonder “What did I do to get this girl”

They like to spend their weekends on book markets that sell second hand books at discounted prices, are  a weird combination of strong headed yet vulnerable and years later if your son quotes Philosophical lines in his essay of primary school, your daughter in her school’s fancy dress enacts a character from some international bestsellers, the little library in your home gets bigger ,everything in your home finds a way out on being old but never those old books  with yellow and torn pages and in your golden jubilee wedding anniversary if you listen to a speech dedicated to you that makes your eyes watery with awww sounds in the backdrop ,Congratulations you have married and loved a girl that writes

अक्सर तुम मिल जाते हो

इन सर्द सिहरती रातों में 

कुछ भूले बिसरे गीतों में

कुछ कही अनकही बातों में

कहीं भटकी हुई सी राहों में 

अक्सर तुम टकरा जाते हो

इन अलसाई सी सुबहों में

कुछ याद नहीं उन ख्वाबों में

किसी अधूरी सी कहानी में 

बारिश के ठहरे पानी में 

अक्सर तुम मिल जाते हो

उन गुड्डे गुड़ियों के खेलों में

रंगों से भीगे मेलों में 

बेवजह किसी के हसने में

यूँ दिल किया रो देने में 

अक्सर तुम दिख जाते हो

हाँ अक्सर तुम मिल जाते हो 

GOA........A Walk to remember

This blog post is about a journey, a holiday taken after months of hard work ,an escape from the thing called competition, performance ,results   etc etc So we boarded Goa Express (Mind it if you are not in a group or with a romantic partner when days seem into minutes, don’t try this train 38 hours of journey can take your nerves out)

30 of us went to Goa and all credit goes to Ankit sir for handling not some little kids but grown up adults who every passing minute wanted to do something different from the group Amid Aantakshari, dumbshall act, mimicry our journey proceeded disturbing our fellow travelers when cards start world comes to a halt and non players (yeah it was me) look as the most foolish ones .The train journey was a roller coaster one with swords drawn out on the movie names ,enmity feeling which can beat India Pakistan ,mimicry by Sarika which left people wondering “Am I actually like this”, the ever so pathetic train ka khana ,some facebookites updating every single second and cherry on the cake was ghost stories until midnight

Goa gives you a liberating experience ,a kind of break free attitude that strikes you the point you deboard the train as we reached ,I was enlightened that “What happens in goa ,stays in goa”(does it remind you of some other place?? Forget it…………J )

We stayed at South Goa’s Palolem beach and if you are looking for a serene ,quiet place, beaches that remind you of a distant island ,a romantic sojourn then south goa is what you are looking for thday had already ended when we reached so we just sat on the beach talking, dreaming There is something about beaches that make you dream ,dream not of materialistic gains but something deep ,something spiritual

Next day was planned a trip to North goa and inspite of waking up the earliest we were late (we means the three girls-Nova, Prema and me) Finally on being threatened that we would be left behind we rushed secret is we always were late because………ha ha ha u actually believed I will split out beans of our girls talks, no way

The bus proceeded to Basilica of Bom Jesus church amid lungi dance and fevicol types item songs and here was Gaurav Agrawal,he never sat on a seat for a minute ,always dancing its people like them who never let the dancing mood die down The church is marvelllous ,visit it not for the story of a miracle called St Francis and his 400 year old body but for beautiful gothic architecture ,don’t rush,absorb the intricacies of architecture ,its lovely Agauda fort was next stop ,initially used as a water tank the age old walls face sea and I could find some guides telling tourists about the movies being shot there ,we can never come out of bollywood the continuity ,the walls with small windows make Agauda Fort so splendid as if it challenges Sea,questions its mightiness and still stands tall

Yipee. North Goa and  its water sports ,the fun part actually began I was very terrified about the banana ride and the prospect of being thrown into the mid sea and these friends of mine assured that they will save me if I drown The person   standing at the edge of banana was holding my life jacket and I thought he was such a saint to support me suddenly I saw God in him Mid sea he held my jacket and threw me into sea and took the steamer with the rest of the people along I was like WTF !This demon actually left me here, well life jackets were there and Sid and Vishal screaming that keep cycling and yes inspite of that demon ,I was alive we went deep into sea later for an hour and I know I was a headache by being a non swimmer and always ending up coughing salt water after every wave, my friends never thought of leaving me and made sure someone or the other was always around to hold if I lost balance…..Love you doston for that

The main adventure was not water sports but finding out that we were left behind as we were late after changing and the bus headed to cruise as the tickets were pre booked (We here again refers to the three of us) we called ,bus waited midway and when we reached we could feel whispering and angry eyes penetrating us and then again friends ,Pankaj,Sidd,gaurav,vishal and shiva made us feel that”Ho jata hai” nothing to worry ,making us laugh which we did not until we said sorry to sir While everyone assured us that  nothing to be sad ,sir made it real being the sweetest person 

The late night talks were all full of planning for the next day,a group wanted to explore casinos, we wanted to go to Disco ,someone wanted to have a lone time at the beach and the day dawns ,we all took a boat ride to honeymoon island ,At the middle of the sea was carnatic music with Akshara Damle and when we returned a big wave splashed over all the plans made a night before ,after discussions, road safety ,distance issues, girls safety each and every plan was headed towards a no (he he) and evening was spent in biking ,trying local cuisine, buying cashews and Mallikarjun Temple (Krishna – mere ghar waale bolenge tu Mathura se Goa mandir dekhne gaya hai………;-)  and here came the shocker of the day-Silent disco now I really want to know who came up with this idea ,Dance is a community feeling,to celebrate joy,togetherness ,happiness or just to enjoy ,Keeping headphones on and dancing is something I could not understand and so did others When we perform classical ,its said that you have to make the audience believe that he/she is actually radha and is longing for love and then this silent disco-something very individualistic, very isolated  and very silent

Well Goa trip came to an end and I was at the beach at 6 in the morning for I knew I will miss the beach ,the  splasing sound of waves the most when I reach back to hustle of Delhi and sitting there clicking pictures of couples who were trying after every failed attempt of self clicking, I observed something that I would carry with myself back” A Russian Father and his 2 year old son at the beach, waves come,the boy falls and he puts his hand towards father but the father does not hold, the child walks on hands and legs ,again the wave comes and he fells The father stands there just saying get up and finally the child stands on two feet ,again to be splashed by a wave and again trying ,Father never ever holding his hand and only boosting verbally “……………….so on the southern most end of Goa at sunrise ,I got life’s little lesson-lesson of parenting 

Back to the train ,everyone was tired, exhausted, sleeping, exchanging numbers and in the process of one or the other person getting down in between at their home towns,almost everyone got down ,hugged, waved goodbye  ,promised to stay in touch ,This made me believe that we may have missed visiting a casino or a beach but we did not miss making new friends

This is for everyone there………………………

"I couldn't find the right words
Nothing seemed to rhyme
To write something for you all
I think it will take time

Because when you have friends
That are very hard to find
There's so much to say
Because you make everything alright

So I will tell you right now
exactly what I need to say
To show you how much I appreciate
You all being there everyday

You're worth more than anyone
even a million pounds
Because you always know what to say
When I am feeling down

You made me smile big smiles
And my days so very bright
And when I was sad

we talked the whole night

I sometimes wish I could explain
How much you all mean to me
But its just not possible
To list a billion things

So I just wanted to say
I love you so so much
And I hope you never leave me
promise to stay in touch...........Sehar

MY DELHI MY VOICE............I SUGGEST

DELHI- the city which just celebrated its 100 years (or let’s say its too young to be 100) this beautiful, historic city of ours is riddled with endless number of problems but does that make this city uglier? Certainly no ,Delhi has witnesses a parade of rulers, divergent religious beliefs ,ethnic diversity ,migration of races but what’s the most beautiful thing is its there ,there for you with open arms from the majestic Red Fort to Lodhi Gardens,from the modern Lutyen’s to the old shahjanabad ,From the archival Hauz Khaas to the Select city walk. It was a witness to a unified empire of Akbar, an anxious Delhi saw the INA trials, a weeping Delhi gave shelter to refugees of partition and today it stands with increasing urbanization with its own set of issues ,My Delhi Manifesto talked about how I want my Delhi to be,lets work towards each issue individually

1)Lets make it a green Delhi, Save Yamuna - Delhi today manifests the symptoms of uncontrolled urbanization with respect to population, transport, industrialization and trade, and commercialization. The city, made initially to cater to 70,000 people has grown outward to host over 16 million people in the present day. This has put understandable pressure on Delhi’s natural resources and led to depletion in quality of the ecosystem services provided by these. Yamuna is now a drain that flows in one part of the city and is known only because there is a trans-’Yamuna’. The once continuous Ridge is now split into parts. It lies quiet but is slowly facing ecological crisis of all kinds. Both the Yamuna and the Ridge have been opened up for construction allowing urbanization to destroy the very “lifelines” that first facilitated it. And now, there is an urgent need to highlight the issues of the river and the Ridge before more damage is done to these But in the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, most of us forget this and remain detached from the essential reality that we too are part of the ecosystem and will be impacted by any unnatural adverse change. It is now time to realize this truth and be more aware and informed about our surroundings. On this 100 year ‘capital celebration’, give Delhi the gift it deserves. Give it some of your time and it will only be an investment in your own future.

2) Make Delhi safer for women- Gang rape shook the conscience of every citizen and it is no hidden fact that Delhi  is”Unsafe” for women, but let’s introspect who made it unsafe? Its we the people of Delhi Girls- Be safe ,use women helpline numbers and Men –Respect every women around you ,confront any male if you see eve teasing, molesting, stalking sometimes its just the community voice that demotivates any spurious intention of these psychopaths

3)Save Water, Save Air –The constantly declining water table is an issue of urgent concern where many parts of the city are facing acute water crisis ,Harvest rain water, stop wastage of water ,teach your children that water is a finite resource ,and for air its causing respiratory problems thanks to the increasing number of vehicles and their exhaustive fumes why not try car pooling or public transport? it may save you a few bucks too

4)Where are the sparrows gone- Delhi recently gave the state bird status to the little house sparrows but have you noticed you hardly see any of these little creatures now .Where have they gone? Why not make little nest boxes for them ,sprinkle some food for them in your balcony ,a little water and plant trees ,you will have those harmless visitors again

5)Last word : For the Government-  Now here why do we need to even suggest you people? even a class 6 student will tell you the tenets of Good Governance No corruption in commonwealth like events, it’s the hard earned money of ours Secondly as your welfare programs do something(we mean at implementation level) for the huge population of unorganized workers and urban poor Delhi is home to migrants from practically every neighboring state in search of livelihood generation opportunities and failing to which they resort to crime

Bad officials are the ones elected by good citizens who do not vote.
George Jean Nathan

Go out Delhi and vote in the coming elections  ,don’t just suggest be the medium to bring about the changes that you suggest

Here is a toast to “Forever Delhi”

This is My Delhi Manifesto in association with BlogAdda.com

Be safe girls with these smart tips

Delhi -the scary news of Nirbhay Gangrape is still fresh in our memories and every second girl will have her own story of harassment in any form 
So why not read these smart tips which can come very handy while preventing any kind of adverse situation 
1) Download Smart suraksha app ,which sends a pre saved message to 5 of your contacts in any kind of emergency situation ,with this you will always have your loved ones around

2)Whenever you take a cab or auto ,call anyone and give your location,your destination,the cab 
's number to someone from family or a friend (You can always fake a call too..take my word ,it works) this act of yours demotivates a person even he has some fishy ideas

3)Hire a She cab (remember the ones shown in Satyamev Jayate)  by this u can not only be safe ,u could also help some women in distress are trying to make out a living by driving cabs ,the best part is you can always have that girly talk with them if you are one of a chatterbox like me 

4)Google about the distance ,time taken etc before going to a new place beforehand ,this would save you from extra bucks too and no one can take an advantage 

5)Some places are a complete no no if you are unaccompanied 
for eg-the criss crossing lanes in interior of chandni chowk
 
6)The satellite towns of Delhi -Delhi is expanding and its periphery is increasing accommodating nearby villages so if work or any reason takes you there just to avoid any uncalled attention like no short dress ,no hugging in public,sometimes you have to respect the society u are going in as is said"Jaisa desh,waisa bhes"

7)Night -if you are partying late at night and you are high ,be in groups ,don't travel alone ,never take a transport avenue if it seems just too empty

8)The always helpful pepper and chilli spray are a must carry in your handbag

9)Take some self defense classes,the best way to be safe,my karate instructor has advised me that if you are attacked or caught tightly from behind ,always remember always MAKE THAT FIRST BLOW,A HARD HITTING BLOW AT THE GROIN AREA the excruciating pain  to him will give you time to escape

10)The last and the most important ,don't ever leave any unwanted or suspicious activity around you unreported even if it's not effecting you directly,report to police ,they are there to help us and they are good at that

Be a responsible citizen,be safe,be secure..........HAPPY LIVING

 I am sharing my Smart Suraksha Tips at BlogAdda.com in association with Smart Suraksha App