DREAMS,DESIRES,DEPRESSION,DISTRESS,DRUGS and.............DEATH

"YOU ARE OUR ANGEL!SLEEP TIGHT!MOM DAD WOULD ALWAYS LOVE YOU .........RIP AMY"

 This was the message from a father who lost his daughter at 27 &the media the world over 
 showing us the news &reminding of"club 27"celebs &this post came up because i had a long thought that why these celebrities who achieve so much at a young age ,surrender to drugs &alcohol...why another club 27 celeb?why amy winehouse?

Last year i started learning kathak ,my long cherished dream ,when i met"guruji",he asked me why kathak,i said"i love dancing n it gives me inner happiness".He said"you know what art is all about?its all about discipline,discipline not in practice but in Life,worship your art ,live your art ,do not dance for name,fame &money,dance for your soul"

Winehouse's issues with drugs and alcohol have been well documented. There's nothing the tabloid media likes to do more than build a celebrity up and then knock them down, documenting the filth and the gory details with voyeuristic glee. Youtube, too, is full of clips showing Winehouse stumbling across the stage during a show. Sadly, she never received the help that she so badly needed. Anybody that has ever known an addict, be it drugs, alcohol, gambling or anything else, knows that the only person that can really help an addict is the addict. You can't tell an alcoholic to stop drinking. They have to be ready

However, when a person is in the public eye like Winehouse was . There would be people surrounding you who would make you a proud person &they will be the first one to push you back If that sounds pathetic, it is.
there would be many who would say "I don't feel sorry for Amy Winehouse. She did it to herself".  Only Amy Winehouse could have helped Amy Winehouse, but she didn't ask to be an addict. Most of us are blessed with a mind that knows when to stop. We can have two beers, three maybe, and then happily go home. The mind of an alcoholic isn't built like that. There's only alcohol &no to drinking. There's no in-between. If that doesn't make sense to you, that's because you are not an addict and you, and I, should feel very grateful about that. 


Tragically, Winehouse never got on top of her disease. It controlled her for the majority of her short life, right up until the very end. . Amy Winehouse's death will be felt for decades to come though because, rather than being a loss to music, she's a loss to art and what a waste of such an exemplary talent
. She didn't achieve this success, as most do, by riding on a wave of fashion and fads. She became an icon for teens ,a lovely artist fresh and classic  .i sometimes fail to understand that does this fame makes them crazy or the feat achieved at such a young age makes them to try all"wild adventures"..........so here comes the"DISCIPLINE "that every indian classical dance or music form speaks 

You can like her music or hate it, but you have to admire the fact that she achieved what she did due to her talent. That is incredibly rare. Artists will come and go with different faces and different names, but there will only ever be one Amy Winehouse. And she will be missed

ending this post from her own composition"Rehab"
They tried to make me go to rehab but I said 'no, no, no'
Yes I've been black but when I come back you'll know know know
I ain't got the time and if my daddy thinks I'm fine
He's tried to make me go to rehab but I won't go go go""
with a wish that none loses his/her life to drugs &alcohol..................LIFE IS PRECIOUS &FOR ONCE,TREASURE IT........Sehar
 "

the thing called "INFATUATION"

INFATUATION-the most talked about word these days,pick up any magazine &there would be readers from all age group confessing about infatuation

Infatuation is the state of being completely carried away by unreasoned passion or love: 'expresses the headlong libidinal attraction of addictive love. Usually, one is inspired with an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone
in common opinion it is"foolish love"or may be your first step towards love 
n the case of infatuation, there is usually an obsessor and an object of desire, who may or may not be attainable. In its "pure" state, infatuation is characterized by unrealistic expectations of blissful passion
A no surprise that one's first encounter with this feeling is in youth  Thus 'the first passionate adoration of a youth for a celebrated actress whom he regards as far above him, to whom he scarcely dares lift his bashful eyes may be seen as part of an 'infatuation with celebrity i remember having an infatuation for "Salman Khan"&even "Nick"of backstreet boys
Admiration plays a significant part in this, as 'in the case of a schoolgirl crush on a boy or on a female teacher. The girl starts off admiring the teacher..[then] may get hung up on the teacher and follow her around'. There may then be shame at being confronted with the fact that 'you've got what's called a crush on him...and i am pretty sure almost all of us had a crush for our teachers once in lifetime i read a psycho paper claiming that most of the people have infatuation for their doctors"
develops a special interest in the person of the doctor...never tires in his home of praising the doctor and of extolling ever new qualities in him'.What occurs, 'it is usually maintained...is a sort of false love, a shadow of love', replicating in its course the infatuations of 'what is called true love'^"

 i am sure many doctors must have some interesting experiences to share 
Coming to the "hot debate"-love vs infatuation
Infatuation is a feeling,a pass by feeling ,more interested in satisfying yourself completely based on physical attraction or someone's really exemplary talent
Love seeks to give,it unselfishly wishes the highest good for other it strengthens with time n separation  
Love is PATIENT,KIND,FORGIVING,NEVER BRAGS,ACCEPTING,APPRECIATING

Throughout the history of mankind, we as a world culture have made love out to be mysterious, complex, difficult, and undefinable we feel its impossible to define love ,or else draw a line between the two ,maybe there's a fear that if we try to define it we would make it less powerful,less impacting maybe we all enjoy the "mystery"attached to it
Lets accept it, infatuation has become a popular model for love itself, and at this very moment, infatuation fever is directing the most critical intimate choices of an enormous sub-culture of singles. 
but wait!how did you know that the sudden spark you felt was infatuation say thanks to love Fever through stories told in pajama party whispers, fairy tales, the anguished confidences of dear friends, through cartoons and fine literature, B-movies and cinematic art, TV sitcoms and soap operas, and romantic novels 

Research has confirmed the existence of an amphetamine-like chemical which is rapidly activated (like lightning!) when we begin to feel attracted to someone.
infatuation cannot exceed its own expectations. It is the spark and the emotional kindling, not a steady, warming fire. It is an appetizer that makes you anticipate the full banquet. But it will not keep you warm and it will not fill you up.
Perhaps the complications surrounding love come from all “stuff” we add on to this powerful emotion. Lets drop all the baggage surrounding relationships and define what it is we are experiencing in the moment of love.
"
Can this be love,
Something so true,
Or maybe infatuation,
Because it’s so new,
Have I finally found,
What I’ve been searching for,
Or is this a dream,
And shall I feel this no more,
I really don’t know,............sehar

i wish to smile,to laugh ,to grow up...........i wish to LIVE

April 29th-the day of WILL-KAT wedding ,the much covered ,the much publicised day (and to be honest i was also eager to know what would be the wedding gown like or rather how"BIG"the royal wedding would be)but in all this frenzy ,we forgot that april 29th is also "WORLD WISH DAY"
So as a member of "MAKE A WISH FOUNDATION" we decided to celebrate this day to make it a memorable one for all the little children associated with it
Lots of gifts,few bicycles , a magic show n whole lot of games made this day a beautiful day.The children arrived ,all accompanied by their parents,siblings &they looked so pale,thin ,friable,anyways i interacted with a few of them taking care not to bring about the topic of their disease because i knew that if they are here it means that asking about the diseases would only add to my dictionary of dreaded diseases and we were there to rejoice
i came to know about the funny yet "the wish"of everyone ,a boy wanted to be "sachin tendulkar"(dont mistake yourself for meeting Sachin,he actually wanted to be one ),a boy "Vivek"wanted a laptop &when i asked him why ,he said he wanted to learn "Hacking"(so all those facebook freaks out there,including me ,this boy was leaukemic)

We painted ,we sang &the children were superb with crayons
The magic show started n the magician showed them tricks with everyone clapping to his tricks but what amazed me the most that every child wanted to learn the trick in which magician would wave his hand in air n bring out coins &asking about why did they wanted to learn this trick in particular they answered "we won't have to ask for money for having chocolates n candies from mummy",the children received many gifts from bicycles to cricket kit for our"junior sachin"n everyone seemed happy

The day ended& having dinner with"Mehak",this cute,lovely girl whose wish was to "walk the ramp like a professional model",i told "Mehak"-when i was 9 years old i never knew what a model was,she said"i know about many models didi n this also that i won't be able to grow up to your age,mummy says i have to go to visit God n i am the lucky one"

kissing her ,i said"you would be the most prettiest model ever beta",the thought came to my mind "DO THEY REALLY WISH FOR MEETING A CELEB,WALKING DOWN A RAMP ETC,OR DO THEY WISH TO SMILE,TO LAUGH ,TO GROW UP .............TO LIVE
"Dry your eyes and cry no more
Your dreams await on nearing shores
A hand extends from someone near
To cast away doubts and fears
It's time to start a life anew
With changes for the both of you
Cling not to the things you've had
Reminders of a time so sad
So rise above the mire and silt
And free yourself of fear and guilt

Question not the things unknown
Just please accept the love you're shown Trust in things you can not see
And maybe you'll believe in me


And now before you here i stand
just make a wish &;hold my hand".............sehar

DREAMS DO COME TRUE

so i am back with a story of "me",a story of a day that changed my life to an extent ,made me friends with some marvelous persons on planet .I am a religious follower of "Paulo Coelho's blog"&always comment on its stories &one day i received this E-Mail:

"         Dear Dr. Proja
I prefer to post your story as my "Reader's story"  later this week, that is why I did not approve the comment
I am copying to my good friend, also a warrior of the light, Priya, who will make the necessary corrections.
Thank you for sharing
Paulo "

and my mail box flooded with mails,of all the readers &avid followers of Paulo's blog

http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2010/10/27/readers-story-two-choices-in-life/

i thanked paulo &he replied"Thank you for sharing the story. you are not only a beautiful soul,but a good writer too(went through your blog"

what more could i ask for,here was my favorite writer appreciating me.I replied to all the 20000 mails that came to me,sharing a few here

1)kalyan"read your story in Paulo's blog and it did really touched me in heart and i really felt so happy That i cannot express in words. You are a such a nice humble human , inspiring us all . Thanks for sharing and caring and showing us all angels still exist 

2)Erika-your story was inspiring

God bless you forever!!!
 

3)Bhawesh"This is Bhavesh here from Ahmedabad. Really nice story. I am really impressed. Tell me if you need any help whatsoever. and also let me know if you are planning same kind of thing for Ahmedabad. 

4) May the universe smile upon you & your wonderful work to help women become independent AND to build up their self-esteem, their dignity, their ability to pass these things on to their children.

 With great respect & sincerity,

 Kimberly Bennett

Wife, mother, writer, lover, friend

5) Emily-" support the work which are doing.  God bless your life path.

6)Aiman"  read your story on the Paolo Coelho's blog. Thank you for doing what you are doing for those women in need. It does not matter where we live, what our citizenship is, because every country, be it developed or not, has the problems of not being helpful enough to women who do really need help.  I am very happy that there are still people who want to help others, who try their best to inspire and support people they do not know much about.

I am only hoping that the number of people who want to help those who are desperately looking for a job or a shelter will grow on our planet. 

I want to wish you best of luck and may God bless your deeds!  And thank you for sharing your story with others!

7)juliekruger"Thanx  for showing us that we humans can do wonderful things if only we try i have  just read your story and you are an inspiration to me . thankyou

8)francesco bianchi"hi Dr Pooja,wrote about your story in a Spanish newspaper,with the title"a young writer ,pure soul &a beautiful girl...from all my readers want to say THANKYOU

9)and lastly but indeed a very special person"MIA T STARR",an amazing writer&a great friend with a golden heart I wanted to email you directly and share with you what I had just posted at PAULO COELHO's blog in response to your reply to mine regarding your story, TWO CHOICES IN LIFE:

On the eve before fleeing my homeland in April 1975, I was struck with a mysterious infliction (some kind of severe, internal bleeding and clot). Some at the hospital announced I only had a few days to live. Others with my condition had already died. My father refused to believe in this fate for me, refused to give in to the despair swirling around him. He was not alone.

There was a young, female doctor who performed an immediate surgery on me to remove whatever it was that stood in the way of my breath and caused blood to pour from my mouth. I was four years old and one of the few memories I have from that time in the hospital was being in a room full of sick and dying children and thinking, “I am not going to die. Not today. Not here.”

Doctors like you make a difference. Hope makes a difference.

Thank you to you and to all the doctors out there saving lives. As we say in Vietnamese, cảm ơn bạn rất nhiều. Thank you so much."a pleasant gift from Mia &i was honored

http://www.fourdaysaweek.com/2/post/2011/01/two-choices-in-life.html 


The list doesn't end thankful all for being so kind &it would  certainly be one of the most precious memories of my life &why not"DREAMS DO COME TRUE" 

I'm constantly blinking my eyes trying to stay awake
I feel like I'm fallen and I know I better awaken
I'm constantly reminiscing on what are the meanings of my dreams
My dreams are beyond an ordinary dream
In my dreams I have already been here and there
I feel like I'm trapped in a cage
Because it continues to leave me puzzled like a maze
I feel like in life it is meant for us to dream
Because dreams are what bring life to reality
All I know is I must awaken before life passes me by
Because I pray when I die I get to live in the sky.......sehar

 

 

ON INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY-CELEBRATING THE MYSTERY CALLED"WOMEN"

A leading businesswoman of India when named in"TIME'S MOST INFLUENTIAL WOMEN"went happily to her mother &gave this news to her her mother said"Congratulations,we all are proud of your success as a family but you know i wud be a happier when you would be a perfect daughter,a perfect wife &a perfect mother,when you &everyone around would feel that you are a "perfect woman".These were the words of a proud mother of "Kiran Majumdar Shaw",CEO BIOCON &winner of many national &international awards Kudos to her mother &to 'a mystery called woman"who very easily dissolves herself into endless relationships &responsbilities &when people around her are happy she is the happiest person on earth To every woman....HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY"
"The origin of a child is a mother, a woman… She shows a man what
loving, caring and sharing is all about..” said Sushmita Sen, India’s first Miss Universe, in the final round of the contest. An answer which was greeted with tremendous applause and which probably, led her to win the crown.
Indeed a woman’s essence lies in her innate ability to care, love and sacrifice for the other. She plays an all-enveloping character of a mother, daughter, wife and sister as a friend, nurturer, guide and partner from time to time. Emotional  and vulnerable, sometimes erratic, sometimes serene, she displays a wonderful range of emotions from being patient to being extremely courageous in times of crisis.
Tormented and subjugated throughout all times and ages, women have fought their way through exploitation, harassment, and have managed to secure their rights in the public domain. In spite of continuing exploitation and injustice against women both in the domestic and work sector today, several milestones have been achieved in terms of education, freedom of choice and liberty, equality etc.With growing literacy and financial independence women feel more empowered today to assert their right to a life of dignity and self worth. The International Women's Day celebrated on 8th March is a universal day for all women around the world. It endows them with a sense of honour,dignity and self respect for being the person that they are. This day marks a celebration of the economic, social, cultural and political achievements made by women over the years. It is amazing how women are so wonderfully giving and loving. Their love is unconditional and forever. And once
they forgive, they really forget. They don’t dig out the heavy
artillery, even when they have the best opportunities
to do so.a woman, it is the perfect mix that makes men goes weak-kneed. The sensuality combined with nurturing,

the naughtiness combined with
caring, the vivacity coupled with quiet
understanding. It is a heady mix and man, it is very intoxicating.
to..TO the Mother who loves others even more
To THE BUSINESS WOMAN
TO THE SPORTS WOMEN
TO THE LEADERS
TO THE HOMEMAKER OF FAMILY
TO...ALL THE WOMEN......."HAPPY WOMEN DAY"
some lines by a leading poet"Subhadra kumari Chauhan"truly depict the journey of WOMEN 
जब तक मैं मैं हूँ, तुम तुम हो,
है जीवन में जीवन।
कोई नहीं छीन सकता
तुमको मुझसे मेरे धन॥

आओ मेरे हृदय-कुंज में
निर्भय करो विहार।
सदा बंद रखूँगी
मैं अपने अंतर का द्वार॥

नहीं लांछना की लपटें
प्रिय तुम तक जाने पाएँगीं।
पीड़ित करने तुम्हें
वेदनाएं न वहाँ आएँगीं॥

अपने उच्छ्वासों से मिश्रित
कर आँसू की बूँद।
शीतल कर दूँगी तुम प्रियतम
सोना आँखें मूँद॥

जगने पर पीना छक-छककर
मेरी मदिरा की प्याली।
एक बूँद भी शेष
न रहने देना करना खाली॥

नशा उतर जाए फिर भी
बाकी रह जाए खुमारी।
रह जाए लाली आँखों में
स्मृतियाँ प्यारी-प्यारी॥ .............SUBHADRA KUMARI CHAUHAN..................sehar

ARE YOU A VICTIM OF "SEXISM"

Anisha is a young,confident girl .Coming from a small city&a humble
background,she completed her MBA from a reputed institute of Ahmadabad
&was recruited by a major consulting company of Mumbai.All excited
about her new job,the feeling of being a self dependent woman
exhilarated her With an over enthusiasm to perform to her best ,she
joined the company,but only after few weeks she started feeling sick
about the mere idea of dressing up for office.She could hear her male
colleagues passing"uncanny"&"sexual"

remarks loudly as and when she
passed by.Whenever she tried to confront them they behaved as if they
were having  a 'casual talk"this whole work environment made her
uncomfortable &she started getting irritated at silly things
Does this story of 'Anisha' remind you of your personal
experience,?then you are a victim of"sexism"Sexism is basically any
discriminatory practices,statements or actions directed at a
particular sex .A recent study by university of Florida said"with a
retention rate of 60%,sexism in workplace is happening even in today's
workforce where men &women are supposedly equal as far as
participation
Sexism can come in many ugly forms. Smacking someone on the behind or
fondling them is one horrid form of this situation. Crude remarks can
also be uncalled for. This includes making tasteless jokes and saying
things that could bother someone else.
TIPS TO DEAL WITH SEXISM:
1) Publicly confront instances of sexism- directly challenging such
instances of sexism can serve as an antidote for negative
psychological effects-turning a negative event into an instance that
makes women feel better about themselves and their work, and even to
feel empowered,
2)Change Your Style to Match the Situation-We censor ourselves all the
time in different types of situations but this won't work speak louder
and make your ideas heard.  If everyone is interrupting each other,
start interrupting to get your voice heard. when you adopt the
dominate communication style.it really helps
3)Be confident to say "no"-When you experience “casual” sexism,just be
confident to say "no"For example, if you are always getting asked to
complete a menial task, or accompanying  lunches or meetings, suggest
that the group rotates responsibility every month.  Make it clear that
you are not their secretary.&they should respect that
4)Talk to your seniors-let the higher authorities know that there is
some problems with the work culture
5)Know When To Leave -sexism is about drawing lines.  Every person has
their own line that they must draw, where on one side lie the things
they will put up with and on the other lie the things they will not
tolerate.  Every time that line is crossed, that person has the choice
to either deal or leave So if sexism is out of control in your current
workplace, by your standards, I would suggest leaving.  And then stop
working for companies that don’t draw their line where you draw yours
Find a company that aligns with your values, and you shouldn’t have
any more problems with sexism.
Sexism is still common but it should never be tolerated Don't stand
for it and make it known that you won't. We all deserve to be treated
the same. Equality is more than a word. It is the way we all need to
be treated..............sehar